I've just been thinking a lot about the things that nag at my heart. Wanting to be more like Christ, but not wanting to give up myself in doing so. Today, before the breaking of the bread today in church, I really asked the Lord to search my heart and bring before me the things in which I need to lay down before him, repent and ask the Lord to restore me and make me more like Himself.
As the pastor was talking this morning, he said something that I have been hearing a lot of lately and something that the Lord has been bringing to my attention for a while now. He talked of loving people, and not just the ones that are easy to love...that is easy! But, to build Christ-like character, love the ones that are difficult to love. Okay...okay I give up!! I will work on loving those that are difficult for me to love this year. How though? The people that really get on my nerves, I don't spend time with...obviously...I run into them on occasion at the grocery store or at the orthodontist, and that is about it. I can pray for them, I will pray for them, because that is where it starts, I'm just waiting for the Lord to take away the feeling of irritation when I see them and have a loving and content spirit towards them. I can't change them, but the Lord can change ME!
I was arguing with God today as he was working on my attitude towards these people that get under my skin. Most of the argument really boiled down to me saying to God "But Lord, I want them to see me as equal! I want them to see that I love you JUST as much as they do! I want them to see me as the Christian that I know YOU know I am..." But you see...it really doesn't matter, not one single bit. I do not live for them, or what they think of me. I live for my Lord, and I live for Him to change me and make me a better person.
I am a Bible believing Christian. I love the Lord. I wear pants. I wear make-up. I encourage my kids to go to school to be whatever they want to be. I encourage my kids to first seek the Lord in their decisions. I home school, but I know that many Christians do not, and I am okay with that and I'd be happy to be friends with anyone that didn't. The Bible does not say to home school specifically...pluck whatever scripture you may out of the Bible, but I am sick and tired of pure legalism. Convictions are different than commandments and I realize that everyone has different things they are convicted by. We are under God's perfect Grace!
So anyone who reads this, this is just a sliver of who I am as a believer. No secrets and no hidden agenda. I don't really care anymore what any Christians think of me. My Lord knows me best, I am laying this down at his feet. Through Him I can love anyone, not on my own of course...but with His love through me. No more grudges and prejudices against different types of Christians. It's time we learn to love one another. I am ready to love the ones that seem to be unlovable!
This is a great post. I know this is hard to learn, but that's what being a Christian is all about. I'm so glad for you. The more you give up your will for His will the less they will irritate you :) - cause you're right...It's not about them, it's about HIM. You're not going to love them for their sake, but because HE wants you to. When I remember that, it makes it easier for me.
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